My college roommate's sister died recently and suddenly. When I wrote this poem, I tried to imagine what it must be like to go back home and have all of her sister's "stuff" still there. What do you keep? When do you get rid of stuff? After writing this draft, I realized I don't like the opening and closing. I feel like the heart of the poem is in the middle. I want to try to revise to work more with the musuem metaphor by using the language of museums (artifact, preserve, exhibit, etc.). If anyone has any advice or comments about revising the poem with this in mind, I would appreciate it. -Meg
So I took some of your advice and revised the poem. I'm not quite done. I'm sort of unsure how to end it, but I tried to focus more on the museum imagery. Let me know if there is anything I should have kept from the first version or something new that needs to go.
Here is a poem that came out of some writing from the writing marathon. I'm not sure poetry is the best genre for this piece, but I'm working with it. I feel as though it needs more creative imagery.
My college roommate's sister died recently and suddenly. When I wrote this poem, I tried to imagine what it must be like to go back home and have all of her sister's "stuff" still there. What do you keep? When do you get rid of stuff? After writing this draft, I realized I don't like the opening and closing. I feel like the heart of the poem is in the middle. I want to try to revise to work more with the musuem metaphor by using the language of museums (artifact, preserve, exhibit, etc.). If anyone has any advice or comments about revising the poem with this in mind, I would appreciate it. -Meg
So I took some of your advice and revised the poem. I'm not quite done. I'm sort of unsure how to end it, but I tried to focus more on the museum imagery. Let me know if there is anything I should have kept from the first version or something new that needs to go.
Here is the thhird draft of the Adrienne poem. I really like how the last stanza came out. What do you think?
Here is a poem that came out of some writing from the writing marathon. I'm not sure poetry is the best genre for this piece, but I'm working with it. I feel as though it needs more creative imagery.
A revised version of the previous poem.